Feb. 14, 2011
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I'm hoping the song referenced is familiar to all. Because there's nothing funnier than a nice old man getting tragically killed in a senseless accident, right?

I'm keeping my 1920s Seth Thomas 89 Mantle Clock in top condition. That way, if my soul decides to form a link with a beloved household applicance, my death will be marked by something with more dignity than an inexplicably non-functional blender. Yeah, that would make a good song...
"Yes, he loved Pina Coladas,
And also Margarittaville
But when its master left this world
Its blades fell ever still.
(Actually, that might make a good song...)

I'm going to feel really bad if any of my readers has a relative that was crushed by a top-heavy timepiece.

Paul, a good family friend and master clockmaker reports that occasionally his customers will relate stories about how their own relatives' antique clocks stop working when the owner passes away. His conclusion is that this happens because no one else knows how to maintain the timepiece.
That's a good deduction.